The Rules

PREHN’S RULES OF HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION:

1. Simpson’s Law of Simplicity:  Either this will work out OK or it will make for an interesting story.

2. Brock’s Bylaw:  Speed + Execution = Results

3. Morrison’s Mantra:  Anytime a major charge or shakeup happens at your hospital, your staff will have 3 questions:  (1) What about me?  (2) What about me? (3) Oh, by the way, what about me?

4. Mary Ann's Mantra: Never let them see you sweat.

5. Johnson’s Judgment: Every once in a while, you just gotta throw a dead body out in the hall.

6. Viator’s Verdict: You might as well take all the undeserved praise, because you’re gonna get all the undeserved blame.

7. Morrison’s Maxim: Hospital CEOs should change every 3 years because if you haven’t created enough enemies in 3 years to get yourself fired, you’re not pushing hard enough.

8. Prehn’s Proclamation: If it ain’t working, use a bigger hammer.

9. Prehn’s Prescript (previously known as Prehn’s Rule of Free Drinks at Happy Hour): The cheaper the product, the more consumers will complain about the quality.

10. DON's Definition:  CNOs who seek equality with CEOs lack ambition.

11. The Simpson Elucidation of the Chain of Ridicularity:  The longest distance between two points utilizing as many people and forms as possible in a corporate chain of command in order to review and analyze any requested decision or action without there ever having to be a substantive decision.

12. Prehn’s Precept:  When you don’t know what you’re doing, walk fast & act worried.

13. Shane’s Sayng:  Show up, act interested.

14. McCurdy’s Maxim:  I’ll panic when it happens.

15. Jim Injunction:  Volume cures all ills.

16. Colin Powell’s Quote:  You can’t make someone else’s choices. You shouldn’t let someone else make yours.

17. Andretti’s Axiom:  If everything is under control, you’re not going fast enough.

18. Weinstein’s Wisdom:  Sometimes its paranoia, sometimes its just sensitivity

19. Prehn's Perrill:  My job ate my life.

20. Aleen's Advice:  When your boss is manic, rise to the level of their mania to communicate an adequate sense of urgency.

21. Aleen's Advice:  (to nursing staff) You will NEVER get in trouble for being nice to a patient/family member.  Get them what they need to be comfortable.

22. Harrison’s Three Laws of the Universe:

• Hurry up, get to the point, I don’t have a lot of time
•  Don’t sweat it, most of it turns out to be B.S.    anyway 
• I don’t have to be the smartest guy in the world, I just have to be the smartest guy in the room

23. Lee's Law of Timing:  If you have to have an answer right now...it's no!
 

• Corollary - Lack of planning and/or preparation on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.

25. Prehn’s Expediency Formula:  Results are simply a matter of time & money.  The more money you have, the less time you need.  And vice-versa.  R = f [T:$]

26. Reformation of Martin Mull’s Observation:  Being a hospital CEO is like having a bowing alley installed in your head.